"Oh," Adora says with an apologetic smile, "my bad." And she adjusts her touch accordingly, fingers stroking a little firmer, until Melog seems pleased again. After all, they're carrying her. It's the least she could offer in return.
And it's nice to have something to focus her attention on, besides.
She doesn't expect them to walk on in silence the whole way, but the question that leaves Catra's lips catches her off-guard, and Adora fumbles a moment.
"Um... that's a good question," she admits, sheepishly lifting her shoulders. It's been an ingrained part of her since she first picked up the sword-- she's never really stopped to analyze it, to put it into proper words.
"The ones that came long before, I can barely feel them," she begins, sifting through the clutter of her thoughts to put together an answer. "Maybe just-- when I transform, and that power washes over me, it feels... big, and ancient. Especially in the beginning, it felt like it wasn't coming from me, but more, bestowed upon me. From many generations before."
She draws in a breath, looks from Catra to the top of Melog's head. Keeps stroking at the fur along their nape, to soothe herself, too. She's so tired, and her brain feels like a frazzled pile of nerves, and talking about She-ra now, after everything her parents said...
No, she can't let herself fall down that hole again. Adora shakes her head, focuses on the here and now. Catra's asking because she wants to understand. Adora wants her to understand, too.
"It's different with Mara, though. I'm not sure-- I mean, in a way, she's always there. But sometimes I forget, you know? It's like she's off in the distance, watching over me. Sometimes I see her in my dreams. But sometimes it's more like she's inside me, like-- like when I recognize things that I shouldn't, and realize those must be her memories. Or sometimes I feel things, but I feel them a little bit more, and I think it's because it must've meant something to her, too."
"... I've never told all this to anyone before." She bites her lip, tilts her head to try and catch Catra's eye. "I don't sound crazy, do I?"
no subject
And it's nice to have something to focus her attention on, besides.
She doesn't expect them to walk on in silence the whole way, but the question that leaves Catra's lips catches her off-guard, and Adora fumbles a moment.
"Um... that's a good question," she admits, sheepishly lifting her shoulders. It's been an ingrained part of her since she first picked up the sword-- she's never really stopped to analyze it, to put it into proper words.
"The ones that came long before, I can barely feel them," she begins, sifting through the clutter of her thoughts to put together an answer. "Maybe just-- when I transform, and that power washes over me, it feels... big, and ancient. Especially in the beginning, it felt like it wasn't coming from me, but more, bestowed upon me. From many generations before."
She draws in a breath, looks from Catra to the top of Melog's head. Keeps stroking at the fur along their nape, to soothe herself, too. She's so tired, and her brain feels like a frazzled pile of nerves, and talking about She-ra now, after everything her parents said...
No, she can't let herself fall down that hole again. Adora shakes her head, focuses on the here and now. Catra's asking because she wants to understand. Adora wants her to understand, too.
"It's different with Mara, though. I'm not sure-- I mean, in a way, she's always there. But sometimes I forget, you know? It's like she's off in the distance, watching over me. Sometimes I see her in my dreams. But sometimes it's more like she's inside me, like-- like when I recognize things that I shouldn't, and realize those must be her memories. Or sometimes I feel things, but I feel them a little bit more, and I think it's because it must've meant something to her, too."
"... I've never told all this to anyone before." She bites her lip, tilts her head to try and catch Catra's eye. "I don't sound crazy, do I?"