There's a small grunt of effort as Adora flops onto her, and Catra almost stumbles before she shifts her feet to better hold the weight. With a sigh, she winds her arms around Adora's shoulders; partly to prevent her from slipping off, and partly just because she likes having her arms around her. It's nice.
She could complain about how Adora didn't tell her she'd wait outside, or complain about the soap being changed while they were out (--a petty revenge from Glimmer for going off-comms without warning, Catra's certain. Bow wouldn't have the guts to have done it.), or complain about how Adora's supposed to be in bed.
Instead she just runs the smooth backs of her nails gently down Adora's spine in the sort of stroke that Melog really loves, one hand after the other, until her arms are around Adora's waist. And then she raises the shoulder she's buried in, trying to dislodge her. Adora's clearly less than half a second away from passing out on her, and Catra doesn't have the muscle strength to carry her if she does.
"Come on," she urges quietly, nudging Adora to be on her side instead of her front. "Let's get to the bed before you crush me."
"Okaaay," Adora drawls sleepily, reluctantly detaching herself from Catra. She doesn't want to pull away from her ever, actually, but placates herself with the resolution to cling right back to her as soon as they're in bed.
And that she does. Now that they're finally clean and dry, out of their dirty clothes and bundled up in comfy blankets, there's absolutely nothing to stop her from wrapping all four limbs around Catra and nestling as close as she can. With both of them down to their underthings for sleep, Catra's fluffy fur brushes Adora's belly and legs, and she giggles softly as she settles against her.
Her heart feels warm and full.
But "you're the comfiest" is what she says aloud, words falling short.
---Adora snuggling her is not going to stop Catra from going outside and catching a small creature to release into Glimmer's bed in the morning. Just so that's clear.
But her tail does do a single, lazy bap against the firm mattress before it snakes over and around Adora's leg. Catra's arms wrap around her easily, and there's an unbidden purr in her chest as she curls into Adora, her fingers stroking idly wherever it is they've wound up. (She's too tired to figure it out. Adora is warm, and sleepy, and comfortable, and they've both had such A Day but it seems so far away from them, now that they're back here. Together.)
"Go to sleep." There's warmth in Catra's voice, and despite the order she's the one who nudges Adora's head so she can kiss her, light and sweet, before snuggling back down. Still, even though sleep sounds like the most amazing thing in the world right now, her eyes remain open; watching Adora with undisguised softness. "Dummy."
"I will," Adora hums in response, smiling ear to ear. Now that they're in bed, she's sure it'll be mere seconds from the moment she closes her eyes for sleep to claim her. But Catra feels so nice, and smells so good, and her smile is so warm that her eyes glow with it, and.
Adora doesn't want to fall asleep just yet.
She lifts one hand, scritching lightly at the corner of Catra's jaw, studying her face in the dark. Soft and unguarded, and beautiful.
She doesn't normally give in this easily to touches, but Catra finds her eyes sliding closed and her chin tilting as Adora's fingers scritch at her jaw, providing better access as a silent request for more.
And of course Adora still has something to say. She always has something to say. How many of their sleepovers in each-other's bunks had just been Adora whispering whatever came to mind until Catra was finally too asleep to respond?
"What is it?" If it's something Catra's going to have to wake up properly for, instead of murmuring back half-asleep responses, she might actually have to kill her.
Catra doesn't need to be more awake than this. Adora likes her this way just fine-- how pliable she is beneath her hand, the slow fluttering of those dark lashes. The air in the room is thick with syrupy sleepiness, and Adora finds that it's comforting, makes it easier to lend her thoughts voice.
Her fingers keep rubbing at the that spot under Catra's jaw, offering quiet affection as she speaks. She knows it'll sound odd to bring up now, but she wants to. She really wants to.
"... Back in the Heart," Adora begins slowly, as if to give the words their proper weight, "when I was about to slip away, I... was dreaming. I saw the four of us in the Bright Moon castle, a long time from now. We were gonna go to a ball-- Scorpia's ball, and Glimmer was trying to brush your hair and you wouldn't let her, and Bow had to keep the peace-- obviously." She laughs, low and soft, the image still so vivid in her head.
"And you turned to me, and held out your hand, and I... I think that's the first time in my whole life I ever pictured a future for myself. Not as a Horde soldier, or as She-ra, but just... me. And I wanted it so badly. I've never wanted anything more."
It still makes her chest ache, recalling the sight of Catra in that dream: taller and deeper-voiced with age, so pretty and elegant, all decked out in colors to match Adora's own. And smiling, open and assured, with the walls she'd spent years building knocked long down. Happy, and safe, and hers.
Adora's hand slows to a still, too engrossed in the memory to keep up its movements. Recalling it is more overwhelming than she'd anticipated, and her voice begins to shake a little, dampness gathering in the corners of her eyes.
"You were so beautiful, Catra. And when I heard you call out to me then, asking me to stay, I realized that-- that if I just hang on, maybe I really could have a chance at that future. With you." She blinks hard, through a wide, watery smile. "I think that saved me."
A few brazen tears spill loose despite her efforts, and she quickly reaches up to wipe at her eyes. Adora feels silly. She hadn't meant to cry.
"-- Anyway, it's just." She draws in a steadying breath, shaking her head at herself. "When we had that fight earlier, I was thinking that I wanted you to know that. That's all."
Adora's fingers are so nice, and she's so warm, and she's firm and real in Catra's arms and it's just. It's so nice. It's really nice. It's nice to be laying curled up with Adora and Adora curled up with her, instead of Catra curled up at her feet. And Catra's brain may be melting a little into sleep as her purr climbs up into her throat.
Then she hears the words the Heart, and the purr cuts off. When Catra's eyes slit open, they're intense and newly alert, and her tail twitches with agitation on Adora's leg. Nothing good could come of the topic.
...Except then Adora goes into it, and Catra's eyes widen by increments until she's fully awake, hanging on Adora's every word as she explains the dream she'd had while her body was heavy and failing in Catra's arms. The dream that would have been her last thoughts, if Catra's words hadn't - miraculously - gotten through to her.
Catra's hands spasm, and then drag up Adora's back to fist in the fabric covering her shoulders. She hates remembering that she'd come so close to losing her. She hates knowing exactly how near a thing it had been.
It terrifies her that if she hadn't begged so fiercely for Adora to stay with her, her life would have ended in that fantasy.
Her laugh is shaky when Adora finishes, and it matches the tremble in her arms as she - okay, clings to Adora.
"Is that your idea of a bedtime story?" She asks, and it's supposed to lighten the mood but her voice cracks, and then she has to remove her arm from around Adora to rub at her own aggressively watering eyes. Because she was a part of the future Adora wanted. She was a part of that future before she'd cried that desperate stream of words into her, she was a part of that future even after all of the things she'd done.
She doesn't even mind sharing that future with Bow and Glimmer. She's there. Adora wants her there, and wanted her there even before she knew Catra could be. Before she knew she would be. It soothes the fear and insecurity in her heart, the wonder if - despite all evidence to the contrary - Adora never actually wanted her. If she was just convenient, or just a stand-by. Just a distraction until someone better came along.
"You're an idiot," she laughs again, watery because her eyes just won't stop, and she doesn't know if she's choking the insult at herself or Adora and so it bears repeating, one time for each of them: "You're such an idiot."
"I know," Adora laughs, too, and now they're both laughing and crying and it's ridiculous, really, but her heart is bursting with warmth at the seams, threatening to overflow. She's caught between wiping away Catra's tears and her own, but new ones just keep on coming anyway, so she finally gives up and focuses on kissing Catra instead. Her cheeks, her forehead, her jaw, her lips. Everywhere Adora can reach.
"I love you so much. And I want to get really, super old with you, and go to all the princess balls with you," she murmurs, hearing the childishness to her own voice and not caring. "Can we?"
Adora's lips tickle, and she won't stay in one place so that Catra can kiss her back any of the times she lands on her lips, and her eyes are too filled with tears and too covered by the rubbing of her hand to be able to track her, and somehow all of this just makes Catra laugh more. And she can't understand why her eyes are still doing this, why she feels so free and like her chest is filled with something light and fuzzy, until she realizes: she's happy. She's so happy, she's crying from it.
"Yes," she says emphatically; through the laughter and hitches of breath. There's no hope for the tears, not now she's realized what they're coming from, so she gives up on rubbing them away. Instead she catches Adora's cheek in her hand, and slips her hand up into her hair to keep her in place, and tries not to let too many tears spill. "I'll go to your stupid balls, and I'll hang out with your stupid friends." Their friends. If she's getting carried away by this sudden feeling of optimism, then she'll admit it. Catra wants to be friends with them, too. "--But I'm not letting Sparkles brush my stupid hair. She'll get--" her shoulders shake with laughter again, for no good reason because this really is a peeve of hers that nobody else takes seriously; "--glitter all over it. And you'll have to deal with that."
Because Adora will be there. Because Adora will be with her. Because Adora wants to be with her. Because Adora has wanted to be with her from apparently the moment she started imagining a future for herself. (Which, granted - a very recent thing. It still counts.)
"Okay. That-- that sounds like a plan," Adora answers with a stuttering giggle, mirroring Catra by cupping her cheeks in return. They spend a moment like this, just watching each other with big, dumb smiles on their faces, tears falling unrestrained.
And then Adora just has to lean in and kiss her again-- properly on the lips this time, open-mouthed and lingering, their quivery breaths intertwining.
When she pulls back, her tears have stopped at last, but her eyes shimmer still as she whispers: "Thank you."
Adora finally, finally kisses her; and it feels like that first time, the way that Catra's lungs stop and restart, the way that Adora's breath ghosts against her tingling lips.
She pulls away too soon, and Catra follows her; barely giving her time to whisper before kissing her again, pressing all of her love and joy into her lips, willing Adora to understand her without words.
She gets it, now, why Adora's become so inclined to kiss her all over. Catra isn't there yet - doesn't know when she'll reach the point of being able to deliver those small expressions of love and affection - but maybe she'll learn. Maybe in their future, she'll be as free with those gestures as Adora is. Maybe it'll be her peppering kisses all over Adora's face, maybe it'll be her drying Adora's hair. She wants to do those things. She doesn't know why she can't.
But for now, this is what she has. Just these brushes and presses of her lips against Adora's (I love you), just her trembling hand in Adora's hair (I've always loved you), just her grasping fingers at Adora's back (I always want to be with you).
"I love you," she breathes against Adora's lips. And then kisses her again, because words are hard and Adora's lips are soft, and Catra knows which one she prefers.
They keep kissing like that for a while-- at the first hint of Adora leaning back, Catra recaptures her with her lips, and Adora repays her in kind. They hardly get the chance to breathe this way, sneaking in quick little inhales with whispered "I love you"s before the kiss swallows them back up again. And because both of them are stupidly stubborn and neither one wants to let go, they're only willing to break up the kiss when they're totally, utterly breathless.
Adora's eyes are heavy and her lungs strain, and she's certain she's never felt more content in her life.
"We should... actually sleep, probably," she says in a raspy murmur, aptly punctuated by a yawn. Even now that they've pulled away, their faces are so close that she can feel her own breath bounce off Catra's lips when she speaks. "Even though I really like kissing you."
Catra hears Adora's words, and Adora's yawn, and still kisses her again before the yawn becomes contagious and she has to pull away; turning her head soas not to yawn in Adora's face before flopping back into her pillow, blinking blearily at her. The tears are long since dried, and the laughter long since converted into the many kisses they'd pressed on each-other's lips, and she is exhausted but she's so exhilarated, still.
"Then go to sleep." There's fond exasperation in her murmur, and it's followed up with another kiss. Because Catra's learned in the last dozen of them that she likes to drag her lips languidly across Adora's; likes the softness and the tingling it leaves behind, and also because she doesn't want to stop. At least after this one she settles down, tugging at Adora's arms until they're comfortable around her, and shifting herself until she can curl into her again.
The purr's already back in her throat as she wraps her arms back around Adora, and -- another kiss, just one more, because Catra always wants more and this is no exception. Except this one lands more on the corner of Adora's lips, which makes it almost as good as a kiss to her cheek, and Catra doesn't know why that feels embarrassingly more affectionate than what she's already done.
"You're making it hard," Adora whines, though she really doesn't have it in her to pose it as an honest complaint. Too comfortable. Too happy.
Be that as it may, her body is gearing towards sleep whether she likes it or not -- her arms are little more than lumps of jello around Catra at this point, and her eyes can only stay open for a few seconds at a time.
But she's just about awake enough for Catra's last kiss to register, the one that hits off-mark. Adora's lips twitch up with it. She's not even sure whether or not it's on purpose, but she likes it just the same.
"You're good," she mumbles, the words scattering from her head as she limply grabs for them. But it's fine. Close enough. "Feels good."
Catra's not the one who interrupted sleep time with a story about her near-death hallucination. And now that she's heard Adora's, sleep is the furthest thing from Catra's mind.
(She stubbornly closes her mouth against the next yawn that wants to come out.)
Even though she's caught her second (more like fourth, at this rate) wind, Catra does her best to wind down. Adora really needs the sleep, she reminds herself as she shimmies down a little so she can rest her head against Adora's shoulder. Adora's had a very long day. Adora's used a lot of magic. Adora's exhausted.
Her ears twitch, listening to her breathing and heartbeat both slow. It's only once they've evened out that she finally feels brave enough to press a kiss against against Adora's skin, and to breathe out the "thanks for coming back for me" that's been stuck in her throat for too long now.
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boxitup2020-05-31 09:58 pm
no subject
She could complain about how Adora didn't tell her she'd wait outside, or complain about the soap being changed while they were out (--a petty revenge from Glimmer for going off-comms without warning, Catra's certain. Bow wouldn't have the guts to have done it.), or complain about how Adora's supposed to be in bed.
Instead she just runs the smooth backs of her nails gently down Adora's spine in the sort of stroke that Melog really loves, one hand after the other, until her arms are around Adora's waist. And then she raises the shoulder she's buried in, trying to dislodge her. Adora's clearly less than half a second away from passing out on her, and Catra doesn't have the muscle strength to carry her if she does.
"Come on," she urges quietly, nudging Adora to be on her side instead of her front. "Let's get to the bed before you crush me."
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And that she does. Now that they're finally clean and dry, out of their dirty clothes and bundled up in comfy blankets, there's absolutely nothing to stop her from wrapping all four limbs around Catra and nestling as close as she can. With both of them down to their underthings for sleep, Catra's fluffy fur brushes Adora's belly and legs, and she giggles softly as she settles against her.
Her heart feels warm and full.
But "you're the comfiest" is what she says aloud, words falling short.
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But her tail does do a single, lazy bap against the firm mattress before it snakes over and around Adora's leg. Catra's arms wrap around her easily, and there's an unbidden purr in her chest as she curls into Adora, her fingers stroking idly wherever it is they've wound up. (She's too tired to figure it out. Adora is warm, and sleepy, and comfortable, and they've both had such A Day but it seems so far away from them, now that they're back here. Together.)
"Go to sleep." There's warmth in Catra's voice, and despite the order she's the one who nudges Adora's head so she can kiss her, light and sweet, before snuggling back down. Still, even though sleep sounds like the most amazing thing in the world right now, her eyes remain open; watching Adora with undisguised softness. "Dummy."
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Adora doesn't want to fall asleep just yet.
She lifts one hand, scritching lightly at the corner of Catra's jaw, studying her face in the dark. Soft and unguarded, and beautiful.
There's one more thing.
"... I need to tell you something."
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And of course Adora still has something to say. She always has something to say. How many of their sleepovers in each-other's bunks had just been Adora whispering whatever came to mind until Catra was finally too asleep to respond?
"What is it?" If it's something Catra's going to have to wake up properly for, instead of murmuring back half-asleep responses, she might actually have to kill her.
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Her fingers keep rubbing at the that spot under Catra's jaw, offering quiet affection as she speaks. She knows it'll sound odd to bring up now, but she wants to. She really wants to.
"... Back in the Heart," Adora begins slowly, as if to give the words their proper weight, "when I was about to slip away, I... was dreaming. I saw the four of us in the Bright Moon castle, a long time from now. We were gonna go to a ball-- Scorpia's ball, and Glimmer was trying to brush your hair and you wouldn't let her, and Bow had to keep the peace-- obviously." She laughs, low and soft, the image still so vivid in her head.
"And you turned to me, and held out your hand, and I... I think that's the first time in my whole life I ever pictured a future for myself. Not as a Horde soldier, or as She-ra, but just... me. And I wanted it so badly. I've never wanted anything more."
It still makes her chest ache, recalling the sight of Catra in that dream: taller and deeper-voiced with age, so pretty and elegant, all decked out in colors to match Adora's own. And smiling, open and assured, with the walls she'd spent years building knocked long down. Happy, and safe, and hers.
Adora's hand slows to a still, too engrossed in the memory to keep up its movements. Recalling it is more overwhelming than she'd anticipated, and her voice begins to shake a little, dampness gathering in the corners of her eyes.
"You were so beautiful, Catra. And when I heard you call out to me then, asking me to stay, I realized that-- that if I just hang on, maybe I really could have a chance at that future. With you." She blinks hard, through a wide, watery smile. "I think that saved me."
A few brazen tears spill loose despite her efforts, and she quickly reaches up to wipe at her eyes. Adora feels silly. She hadn't meant to cry.
"-- Anyway, it's just." She draws in a steadying breath, shaking her head at herself. "When we had that fight earlier, I was thinking that I wanted you to know that. That's all."
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Then she hears the words the Heart, and the purr cuts off. When Catra's eyes slit open, they're intense and newly alert, and her tail twitches with agitation on Adora's leg. Nothing good could come of the topic.
...Except then Adora goes into it, and Catra's eyes widen by increments until she's fully awake, hanging on Adora's every word as she explains the dream she'd had while her body was heavy and failing in Catra's arms. The dream that would have been her last thoughts, if Catra's words hadn't - miraculously - gotten through to her.
Catra's hands spasm, and then drag up Adora's back to fist in the fabric covering her shoulders. She hates remembering that she'd come so close to losing her. She hates knowing exactly how near a thing it had been.
It terrifies her that if she hadn't begged so fiercely for Adora to stay with her, her life would have ended in that fantasy.
Her laugh is shaky when Adora finishes, and it matches the tremble in her arms as she - okay, clings to Adora.
"Is that your idea of a bedtime story?" She asks, and it's supposed to lighten the mood but her voice cracks, and then she has to remove her arm from around Adora to rub at her own aggressively watering eyes. Because she was a part of the future Adora wanted. She was a part of that future before she'd cried that desperate stream of words into her, she was a part of that future even after all of the things she'd done.
She doesn't even mind sharing that future with Bow and Glimmer. She's there. Adora wants her there, and wanted her there even before she knew Catra could be. Before she knew she would be. It soothes the fear and insecurity in her heart, the wonder if - despite all evidence to the contrary - Adora never actually wanted her. If she was just convenient, or just a stand-by. Just a distraction until someone better came along.
"You're an idiot," she laughs again, watery because her eyes just won't stop, and she doesn't know if she's choking the insult at herself or Adora and so it bears repeating, one time for each of them: "You're such an idiot."
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"I love you so much. And I want to get really, super old with you, and go to all the princess balls with you," she murmurs, hearing the childishness to her own voice and not caring. "Can we?"
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"Yes," she says emphatically; through the laughter and hitches of breath. There's no hope for the tears, not now she's realized what they're coming from, so she gives up on rubbing them away. Instead she catches Adora's cheek in her hand, and slips her hand up into her hair to keep her in place, and tries not to let too many tears spill. "I'll go to your stupid balls, and I'll hang out with your stupid friends." Their friends. If she's getting carried away by this sudden feeling of optimism, then she'll admit it. Catra wants to be friends with them, too. "--But I'm not letting Sparkles brush my stupid hair. She'll get--" her shoulders shake with laughter again, for no good reason because this really is a peeve of hers that nobody else takes seriously; "--glitter all over it. And you'll have to deal with that."
Because Adora will be there. Because Adora will be with her. Because Adora wants to be with her. Because Adora has wanted to be with her from apparently the moment she started imagining a future for herself. (Which, granted - a very recent thing. It still counts.)
no subject
And then Adora just has to lean in and kiss her again-- properly on the lips this time, open-mouthed and lingering, their quivery breaths intertwining.
When she pulls back, her tears have stopped at last, but her eyes shimmer still as she whispers: "Thank you."
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She pulls away too soon, and Catra follows her; barely giving her time to whisper before kissing her again, pressing all of her love and joy into her lips, willing Adora to understand her without words.
She gets it, now, why Adora's become so inclined to kiss her all over. Catra isn't there yet - doesn't know when she'll reach the point of being able to deliver those small expressions of love and affection - but maybe she'll learn. Maybe in their future, she'll be as free with those gestures as Adora is. Maybe it'll be her peppering kisses all over Adora's face, maybe it'll be her drying Adora's hair. She wants to do those things. She doesn't know why she can't.
But for now, this is what she has. Just these brushes and presses of her lips against Adora's (I love you), just her trembling hand in Adora's hair (I've always loved you), just her grasping fingers at Adora's back (I always want to be with you).
"I love you," she breathes against Adora's lips. And then kisses her again, because words are hard and Adora's lips are soft, and Catra knows which one she prefers.
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Adora's eyes are heavy and her lungs strain, and she's certain she's never felt more content in her life.
"We should... actually sleep, probably," she says in a raspy murmur, aptly punctuated by a yawn. Even now that they've pulled away, their faces are so close that she can feel her own breath bounce off Catra's lips when she speaks. "Even though I really like kissing you."
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"Then go to sleep." There's fond exasperation in her murmur, and it's followed up with another kiss. Because Catra's learned in the last dozen of them that she likes to drag her lips languidly across Adora's; likes the softness and the tingling it leaves behind, and also because she doesn't want to stop. At least after this one she settles down, tugging at Adora's arms until they're comfortable around her, and shifting herself until she can curl into her again.
The purr's already back in her throat as she wraps her arms back around Adora, and -- another kiss, just one more, because Catra always wants more and this is no exception. Except this one lands more on the corner of Adora's lips, which makes it almost as good as a kiss to her cheek, and Catra doesn't know why that feels embarrassingly more affectionate than what she's already done.
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Be that as it may, her body is gearing towards sleep whether she likes it or not -- her arms are little more than lumps of jello around Catra at this point, and her eyes can only stay open for a few seconds at a time.
But she's just about awake enough for Catra's last kiss to register, the one that hits off-mark. Adora's lips twitch up with it. She's not even sure whether or not it's on purpose, but she likes it just the same.
"You're good," she mumbles, the words scattering from her head as she limply grabs for them. But it's fine. Close enough. "Feels good."
no subject
(She stubbornly closes her mouth against the next yawn that wants to come out.)
Even though she's caught her second (more like fourth, at this rate) wind, Catra does her best to wind down. Adora really needs the sleep, she reminds herself as she shimmies down a little so she can rest her head against Adora's shoulder. Adora's had a very long day. Adora's used a lot of magic. Adora's exhausted.
Her ears twitch, listening to her breathing and heartbeat both slow. It's only once they've evened out that she finally feels brave enough to press a kiss against against Adora's skin, and to breathe out the "thanks for coming back for me" that's been stuck in her throat for too long now.
And then, finally, she can sleep.